Josh's Top Ten Favorite Records Of 2009

So we're all doing some sort of top ten list for the end of the year, and while it could be about my favorite scotches (cheap stuff: Johnnie Walker Red, good stuff: Laphroaig), I'm going to take the coward's way out and do my top ten records. Now to clarify, these are the ten records that I enjoyed the most this year. Only four of these records were actually released in 2009. It's mostly metal (go figure), but they run the gamut of said genre. So here they are, in alphabetical order, Josh's top ten records of 2009.

1. Alestorm, "Black Sails At Midnight" (2009)
If you like pirates, and you like metal, then look no further. Scotland's own Alestorm does them both. Billing themselves as "True Scottish Pirate Metal", a stab at Norway and their concern with black metal's realness, this quartet plunders their way though the folk-metal subgenre. I mean, these men have actually made it their job to be pirates. They're the smartest guys on the planet. Also interesting to note is that this is one of the few instances where I accept the use of keytar in a band. Why, you ask? Because Christopher Bowes keeps it firmly set on the concertina patch. For songs about keelhauling, sea monsters, and rum, this is the place.

2. Black Sabbath, "Heaven And Hell" (1980)
By far the oldest record on the list, this classic had me hooked during the summer months when I was reading through my colossal compendium of metal. This is the first record with new singer (and my personal favorite) Ronnie James Dio, and he takes the band to new heights with his ability to sing something other than the exact same thing the guitar's doing...Ozzy. And while Dio's imagery and metaphors only make sense to Dio (why must I bleed for the dancer?), it's still my top Sabbath record.

3. Daft Punk, "Alive 2007" (2007)
Daft Punk's Discovery was the record that first turned me on to electronic music. We got really baked and a friend put it on, and I was sold (and hungry). Since then, I've been waiting for them to top it, and this is the closest they've come. The robotic French duo put on this concert in Paris as part of their world tour, and I was amazed to discover that they actually performed. Using sophisticated touchscreens and Ableton Live software, the group mixed and matched songs from their three studio albums and threw the most expensive rave the world has ever seen. Not surprisingly, the album won the 2009 Grammy Award for Best Electronic Album, and the mashup of their two biggest hits, "Around The World" and "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger" won them the Best Electronic Single.

4. Dethklok, "Dethalbum II" (2009)
As a big fan of the metal, I was very excited to find the Adult Swim program Metalocalypse, and even more excited when they put out the first Dethalbum in 2007. Brendan Small's ability to lampoon death metal while simultaneously making it cooler is unmatched. So imagine my excitement when I learned that there was to be ANOTHER Dethklok record in 2009. I picked it up the day it came out, and was pleased to find that it was every bit as good as the first one. To paraphrase The Onion's Leonard Pierce, in trying to be a good joke metal band, Dethklok has somehow become a great death metal band. Of course, the record is more enjoyable if you've seen the show, but that doesn't fully detract from the awesomeness. And it doesn't hurt that the touring version of the band features such metal luminaries as Mike Keneally (ex-Frank Zappa and Steve Vai) and Gene Hoglan (ex-Death and Strapping Young Lad). Which, by the way, was one of the best live shows I've ever seen.

5. Diablo Swing Orchestra, "The Butcher's Ballroom" (2006)
I found this Swedish band while using the very fine StumbleUpon application for Firefox. Intrigued by the concept of a metal band that incorporated jazz elements, I gave it a listen, and immediately grabbed it off their website. As it turned out, the band does use jazz elements, but not exclusively. There can be found electronic, flamenco, and classical elements as well, blended in such a way that it cannot be described with words. The eclectic instrumentation (2 guitars, cello, upright/electric bass, drums, and operatic soprano) only furthers their cause. This would be worth a listen for those of you who think that metal is not for you. Go. Go now!

6. Iron Maiden, "Edward The Great" (2001)
For the longest time, I was very much against "best of" collections. I just couldn't bring myself to purchase what I perceived as a butchering of the artist's intentions for commercial gain. This collection, I believe, is the one that changed my mind. I realized that it might be in my best interest to be familiar with an artist, even if I didn't want to pick through 20-plus years of recordings to find the good stuff. It was under this pretext that I purchased Edward The Great. It sat dormant on my computer for about 4 years, until this summer. After doing some reading on Iron Maiden, I gave it another listen, and was so taken that I went out and found as much Iron Maiden as I could. But this collection, often considered the definitive Iron Maiden "best-of", is still my favorite, and a great way to begin with this seminal British metal band.

7. The Lonely Island, "Incredibad" (2009)
The following review is brought to you by Chex Mix.
Those who know me well, know that I am not always the biggest fan of hip-hop. Like every genre, 80% of it is total fish poop, and gives the other 20% a bad rap (ba-dum-dum!). This comedy album from trio The Lonely Island (featuring current SNL member Andy Samberg) is a charter member of that 20%, and proves that hip-hop/R&B can be self-deprecating without being bad. With instant classics like "Dick In A Box", "Space Olympics", and the side-splitting "I'm On A Boat" (featuring auto-tuner extraordinaire T-Pain), this record got a fair amount of play in the band van. To this day, whenever we hit that one section of the NJ Turnpike that makes the car feel like it's on the water, someone will yell "I'm on a boat, motherfucker, don't you ever forget!"

8. Mastodon, "Crack The Skye" (2009)
A record sure to be on Dan's top ten as well, Mastodon's latest release is their best as well. A concept album following a young man who astral projects, comes untethered from his body, and winds up in Czarist Russia getting help from Rasputin, it finds the perfect blend of brutality and melodicism. But the best part for me, as Dan put it, is that Mastodon completely alienated all their hardcore fans with this record. Everyone who liked Mastodon because "they're so fuckin' heavy! WOO!" is gone. And good riddance. Those guys didn't like to shower. Anyway, this would be a good path into the world of Mastodon if you can't stomach the face-melting variety of metal. Just know that the other records may liquify your innards. WOO!

9. Probot, "Probot" (2004)
Another StumbleUpon find (those guys are great), this was a side project of Nirvana/Foo Fighters' Dave Grohl. You see, Dave was a big metal guy before he went all grunge/alt-rock, and now that he's rich and powerful, he decided to explore his roots. As Grohl is a talented multi-instrumentalist, he plays nearly everything on the album, save for some of the guitar solos (which are ably handled by former Soundgarden axeman Kim Thayil). What made this record for me was the guest list. Grohl apparently convinced not one, but ELEVEN of the biggest names in heavy metal vocals to appear with him. From Cronos (Venom) to Max Cavalera (Sepultura, Soulfly), King Diamond to Tom G. Warrior (Celtic Frost), and the incomparable Lemmy Kilmister (Motorhead), the record is a star-studded tour-de-force. I laughed! I cried! And so on. The only complaint you may have is that it sounds like Grohl wrote all the songs for the specific vocalists, i.e. the Lemmy track sounds like a Motorhead tune, the Max Cavalera track sounds like a Sepultura tune, etc. Indeed, Cavalera performs his track, "Red War" during live sets with Soulfly. Regardless, don't miss the hidden track at the end, with Tenacious D frontman Jack Black performing "I Am The Warlock". Or the video for Lemmy's track, "Shake Your Blood", featuring a whole bunch of the Suicide Girls.

10. The Sword, "Age Of Winters" (2006)
A record that apparently falls into a blanket area called "hipster metal". You know, the kind of metal that people who hate metal listen to. The kind that gets featured in Guitar Hero. The kind that the rest of the metal community looks down on you for listening to. But screw those guys, right? They don't shower anyway. I found this one on Leonard Pierce's "The Decade's Best Metal" on The Onion a few weeks ago (a great list, check it out). To me, it's actually stoner metal for people who hate stoner metal. It's low and sludgey, and evocative of early Black Sabbath. It has appropriately mystical/historical lyrics (see "Lament For The Aurochs"), but it's just fast enough to keep it from being boring. And it's nice to hear a metal drummer who doesn't use a double bass pedal. Plus, anything in drop-C tuning is my kind of music. So don your trucker caps, white belts, and skinny jeans, and let us away to Valhalla!

- Josh

I Got Nothin' (Sorta)

For real. I have very little going on that I haven't already talked about.

I'm still in the middle of that show about women, and it's absolutely become a job. I don't want to go, but I need the money. And on rare occasions, it's fun. Recently we started dicking around and trying to add classic movie themes into the middle of songs, whenever possible. Day 1 involved the theme from "Close Encounters of the Third Kind". The guitar player managed to sneak it in just about everywhere. As the bassist, it's a lot harder for me to include these things. Day 2 was a particular challenge. We were trying to work in any music from Star Wars. Have you every tried playing the Imperial March in the middle of "I Will Survive"? Not entirely possible. However, playing the riff from Peter Gunn during "Girls Just Want To Have Fun" actually works pretty well. If anyone can think of movie themes that are easy to insert (a la Close Encounters), please let me know.

Also, I've been reading an exhaustive history of heavy metal music called Metal: A Definitive Guide by Garry Sharpe-Young. He spent 20 years culling all the information and interviews, and has organized the bands (about 75 of them) by type. It starts with Heavy Metal, such as Black Sabbath, Judas Priest, and Budgie, and goes on from there. It includes some of my favorite bands in there, such as 3 Inches Of Blood, Testament, Nevermore, Lamb of God, you name it. It's about 8" by 9", with size 6 font, and 500 freakin' pages, man. It took me 4 days to read about Black Sabbath alone. (On a very smooth side note, Paul Donato, one of the many, many replacements for vocalists Ozzy Osbourne and Ronnie James Dio [inset], fronted the band Keep under the pseudonym Michael McDonald following his Sabbath career. The band also featured Mark St. John of Deep Purple and KISS drummer Peter Criss.)

And finally, even though it's in the Twitter, Dan took the new EP over to DiscMakers in Camden to get pressed. Should be back very shortly, at which point you will buy it. Not may buy it, WILL buy it. You can't see it, but I'm glowering and shaking my fist at you through the computer.

In summary, apparently I did have some stuff to talk about.

- Josh

Why I Love Heavy Metal (or, "Turn Off That Damn Racket, Josh")

There's always one guy in every band who listens to all sorts of heavy metal. In this band, it's me (mostly). Dan is also into the metal (but not always), and Nick seems to listen to anything. The only person I have to appease is James. Due to being raised on The Beatles and other lyric-and-melody-based pop/rock, he doesn't have the patience for it. He'll put up with my noise, but only to a certain point. Consequently, we've reached an agreement wherein I am allowed to listen to metal in the car only AFTER shows. Since I'm almost always the one driving back home at 2 AM, I need something to keep me awake, and that something is loud and terrifying.

I enjoy listening to music that would render most men blind and impotent. For some reason, I gravitated towards this particular style in my teens. My mom didn't really listen to music when I was a kid, so I had to figure things out for myself. The turning point for me was hearing Disturbed on the radio when I was about 14. It was just so heavy (at the time) that I immediately went and bought the record. I also discovered through my online friends (back when instant messaging was used for meeting new people, and not getting sodomized by middle-aged men) the magic of Metallica. I think it's a bit strange that I went for this music, as I don't recall being an angry teenager, although I did sport dreadlocks and an eyebrow ring in high school.

The National Guitar Workshop (at which I taught for 4 years) was a big influence as well. I attended as a student for 2 years before getting a job there, and I spent most of my time hanging out with the metal kids. They introduced me to Dream Theater and Rage Against The Machine (okay, not really metal, but still awesome), and gave me my first taste of death metal. At the time, I really couldn't handle it. The guttural vocals prevalent in the style put me off. It wasn't until very recently that I was able to stomach it. It's not about the lyrics, since you can't understand half of them anyway. It's about the energy, the power, the sheer brutality of the music. To me, this is the point of all metal. It makes you want to bang your head, jump around, wear tight leather pants, and occasionally sacrifice children and farm animals to your chosen pagan god.

Even though I'm not in a band that plays this kind of music, I still listen to it constantly. I'm listening to Shadows Fall as I write this. And I'm sure it creeps into the bass lines I write for our songs. It's certainly the reason that I have two distortion pedals in my arsenal.

In closing, here are 18 metal bands you should listen to (it started at 5, but I couldn't stop), and an album from each to get you started. Rock on.

1. Mastodon, Crack The Skye (a current favorite of myself and Dan)
2. In Flames, Reroute To Remain (the album that brought me to melodic death metal)
3. Slayer, Reign In Blood
4. Children of Bodom, Hate Crew Deathroll
5. The Devin Townsend Band, Accelerated Evolution
6. Fear Factory, Demanufacture
7. Tool, AEnima
8. Lamb Of God, As The Palaces Burn
9. Meshuggah, Chaosphere
10. Rammstein, Mutter (German dance-metal)
11. Pantera, Vulgar Display Of Power
12. Nevermore, Dead Heart, In A Dead World
13. Skindred, Roots Rock Riot (Welsh reggae-metal)
14. Necrophagist, Epitaph (the best band you will ever hear)
15. Spiral Architect, A Sceptic's Universe (this will mess you up)
    
16. Testament, First Strike Still Deadly
17. Living Colour, Vivid (the only all-black metal band I know of)
18. 3 Inches Of Blood, Advance And Vanquish