1. Alestorm, "Black Sails At Midnight" (2009)
If you like pirates, an
d you like metal, then look no further. Scotland's own Alestorm does them both. Billing themselves as "True Scottish Pirate Metal", a stab at Norway and their concern with black metal's realness, this quartet plunders their way though the folk-metal subgenre. I mean, these men have actually made it their job to be pirates. They're the smartest guys on the planet. Also interesting to note is that this is one of the few instances where I accept the use of keytar in a band. Why, you ask? Because Christopher Bowes keeps it firmly set on the concertina patch. For songs about keelhauling, sea monsters, and rum, this is the place.2. Black Sabbath, "Heaven And Hell" (1980)
By far the oldest record on the list, this classic had me hooked during the summer months when I was reading through my colossal compendium of metal. This is the first record with new singer (and my personal favorite) Ronnie James Dio, and he takes the band to new heights with his ability to sing something other than the exact same thing the guitar's doing...Ozzy. And while Dio's imagery and metaphors only make sense to Dio (why must I bleed for the dancer?), it's still my top Sabbath record.3. Daft Punk, "Alive 2007" (2007)
Daft Punk's Discovery was the record that first turned me on to electronic music. We got really baked and a friend put it on, and I was sold (and hungry). Since then, I've been waiting for them to top it, and this is the closest they've come. The robotic French duo put on this concert in Paris as part of their world tour, and I was amazed to discover that they actually performed. Using sophisticated touchscreens and Ableton Live software, the group mixed and matched songs from their three studio albums and threw the most expensive rave the world has ever seen. Not surprisingly, the album won the 2009 Grammy Award for Best Electronic Album, and the mashup of their two biggest hits, "Around The World" and "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger" won them the Best Electronic Single.4. Dethklok, "Dethalbum II" (2009)
As a big fan of the metal, I was very excited to find the Adult Swim program Metalocalypse, and even more excited when they put out the first Dethalbum in 2007. Brendan Small's ability to lampoon death metal while simultaneously making it cooler is unmatched. So imagine my excitement when I learned that there was to be ANOTHER Dethklok record in 2009. I picked it up the day it came out, and was pleased to find that it was every bit as good as the first one. To paraphrase The Onion's Leonard Pierce, in trying to be a good joke metal band, Dethklok has somehow become a great death metal band. Of course, the record is more enjoyable if you've seen the show, but that doesn't fully detract from the awesomeness. And it doesn't hurt that the touring version of the band features such metal luminaries as Mike Keneally (ex-Frank Zappa and Steve Vai) and Gene Hoglan (ex-Death and Strapping Young Lad). Which, by the way, was one of the best live shows I've ever seen.5. Diablo Swing Orchestra, "The Butcher's Ballroom" (2006)
I found this Swedish band while using the very fine StumbleUpon application for Firefox. Intrigued by the concept of a metal band that incorporated jazz elements, I gave it a listen, and immediately grabbed it off their website. As it turned out, the band does use jazz elements, but not exclusively. There can be found electronic, flamenco, and classical elements as well, blended in such a way that it cannot be described with words. The eclectic instrumentation (2 guitars, cello, upright/electric bass, drums, and operatic soprano) only furthers their cause. This would be worth a listen for those of you who think that metal is not for you. Go. Go now!6. Iron Maiden, "Edward The Great" (2001)
7. The Lonely Island, "Incredibad" (2009)
The following review is brought to you by Chex Mix.Those who know me well, know that I am not always the biggest fan of hip-hop. Like every genre, 80% of it is total fish poop, and gives the other 20% a bad rap (ba-dum-dum!). This comedy album from trio The Lonely Island (featuring current SNL member Andy Samberg) is a charter member of that 20%, and proves that hip-hop/R&B can be self-deprecating without being bad. With instant classics like "Dick In A Box", "Space Olympics", and the side-splitting "I'm On A Boat" (featuring auto-tuner extraordinaire T-Pain), this record got a fair amount of play in the band van. To this day, whenever we hit that one section of the NJ Turnpike that makes the car feel like it's on the water, someone will yell "I'm on a boat, motherfucker, don't you ever forget!"
8. Mastodon, "Crack The Skye" (2009)
A record sure to be on Dan's top ten as well, Mastodon's latest release is their best as well. A concept album following a young man who astral projects, comes untethered from his body, and winds up in Czarist Russia getting help from Rasputin, it finds the perfect blend of brutality and melodicism. But the best part for me, as Dan put it, is that Mastodon completely alienated all their hardcore fans with this record. Everyone who liked Mastodon because "they're so fuckin' heavy! WOO!" is gone. And good riddance. Those guys didn't like to shower. Anyway, this would be a good path into the world of Mastodon if you can't stomach the face-melting variety of metal. Just know that the other records may liquify your innards. WOO!9. Probot, "Probot" (2004)
Another StumbleUpon find (those guys are great), this was a side project of Nirvana/Foo Fighters' Dave Grohl. You see, Dave was a big metal guy before he went all grunge/alt-rock, and now that he's rich and powerful, he decided to explore his roots. As Grohl is a talented multi-instrumentalist, he plays nearly everything on the album, save for some of the guitar solos (which are ably handled by former Soundgarden axeman Kim Thayil). What made this record for me was the guest list. Grohl apparently convinced not one, but ELEVEN of the biggest names in heavy metal vocals to appear with him. From Cronos (Venom) to Max Cavalera (Sepultura, Soulfly), King Diamond to Tom G. Warrior (Celtic Frost), and the incomparable Lemmy Kilmister (Motorhead), the record is a star-studded tour-de-force. I laughed! I cried! And so on. The only complaint you may have is that it sounds like Grohl wrote all the songs for the specific vocalists, i.e. the Lemmy track sounds like a Motorhead tune, the Max Cavalera track sounds like a Sepultura tune, etc. Indeed, Cavalera performs his track, "Red War" during live sets with Soulfly. Regardless, don't miss the hidden track at the end, with Tenacious D frontman Jack Black performing "I Am The Warlock". Or the video for Lemmy's track, "Shake Your Blood", featuring a whole bunch of the Suicide Girls.10. The Sword, "Age Of Winters" (2006)
A record that apparently falls into a blanket area called "hipster metal". You know, the kind of metal that people who hate metal listen to. The kind that gets featured in Guitar Hero. The kind that the rest of the metal community looks down on you for listening to. But screw those guys, right? They don't shower anyway. I found this one on Leonard Pierce's "The Decade's Best Metal" on The Onion a few weeks ago (a great list, check it out). To me, it's actually stoner metal for people who hate stoner metal. It's low and sludgey, and evocative of early Black Sabbath. It has appropriately mystical/historical lyrics (see "Lament For The Aurochs"), but it's just fast enough to keep it from being boring. And it's nice to hear a metal drummer who doesn't use a double bass pedal. Plus, anything in drop-C tuning is my kind of music. So don your trucker caps, white belts, and skinny jeans, and let us away to Valhalla!- Josh
